8 Ways Gardening Will Ruin Your Life
1) People always think you are an amazing chef. They don't know your secret is just really fresh ingredients. The pressure is intense!
2) Buying "organic" or receiving Farm Box deliveries will no longer measure up to the flavor of produce picked and prepared within a few hours.
3) Your friends used to think you were weird for taking photos of food. You are now taking pictures of the ingredients.
4) You stay healthy while your friends are getting fat. You skinny bitch.
5) The time you will spend staring at your plants, impatiently waiting for the vegetables to ripen, could have been used to find the end of the internet or write your hit screenplay (according to your mom).
6) The newfound mental stress of coming up with new and exciting recipes because you are trying to keep up with your daily harvest.
7) No one understands why you are sad when your herbs have bolted. You are extra sad to explain what "bolted" means during your time of sorrow.
8) When someone asks “How far along are you?,” you assume you are being asked how long it is going to be before you can harvest your vegetables. Like they carrot all.